Financial Words of Wisdom from Widows for Widows

Jane M. Young, CFP, EA


I have met with numerous widows over the last few years to get a better understanding of what they are experiencing and to learn how I can best support and assist them.   Below I have shared some of the most meaningful and consistent messages and comments I heard from these brave women.  I hope this is helpful to both men and women who have recently lost a spouse and family members of someone who has recently lost a spouse.

  • Avoid making major decisions during the first year.  I think I heard this from everyone I spoke with and it is very wise advice.
  • Be obsessively selfish, after the loss of a spouse it is especially important to focus on you and physically take care of yourself.  Later, once you are feeling better you can help others.
  • Grief is very sneaky, one moment you feel fine then it sneaks up on you.  Expect some irrational behavior.
  • Be easy on yourself, it is normal for grief to last three years.  The fog will begin to clear after the first year but things will still be fuzzy for up to three years.  This can be difficult because friends and family expect you to heal more quickly than is realistic.  Everyone grieves differently but three years is very normal.
  • During the first year you feel like you’re operating in a fog, it is easy to forget key dates.  You frequently feel lost and confused and forget how to do things.
  • Grief can consume hours and hours of your day.  It’s hard to focus and get things done.  There is very little energy to learn new things.  It’s normal to feel apathetic.
  • The loss of a spouse is a huge tragedy in your life.  Everyone else seems so focused on themselves. Try not to get upset at others who go on with their own lives as if nothing has happened.  They are busy and they don’t want to open themselves to the pain.
  • It’s very important to take the time to select a trusted team of professionals.  Your team should include an attorney, financial planner and an accountant, if your financial planner does not prepare taxes.
  • Being a new widow can be very scary, it is scary to be alone.  You have a tremendous need for encouragement and acknowledgement that you are making progress.  Try to spend time with positive and supportive friends and family.
  • It’s hard to shift from making plans and setting goals together to making plans and setting goals on your own.  You don’t have to do everything the way you had planned with your spouse.  You need to set your own course and reach for new hopes and dreams.

 

Learn More About Long Term Care Insurance at Our Next Fireside Chat on July 11th

Please join us for lunch, at Pinnacle, for our next Fireside Chat on July 11th at 11:30.  We will discuss Long Term Care Insurance.  As always this is purely educational and free of charge.  Please call Judy at 719-260-9800 to RSVP.  Please let us know if there are any topics that you would like us to discuss at future Fireside Chats.

“What is Modern Retirement and Will You be Ready?” Join us on September 7th for our next Pinnacle Fireside Chat.

Please mark your calendars for our next Pinnacle Financial “Fireside Chat”, to be held on Wednesday, September 7th from 7:30am – 9:00am.

Jane will discuss the characteristics of modern retirement and how to plan for it. She will explore different approaches to retirement and some of the factors to be considered. She will also explain the various plans available to help you save for retirement.

The Fireside Chat sessions are informational only (no sales!) and interactive — a great opportunity to learn new things and ask questions in a relaxed environment. These sessions are open to your family and friends, so please feel free to pass this email along to anyone that you think might be interested in attending.

Please call Judy (719-260-9800) if you would like to attend this session on September 7th, as space is limited.

We hope to see you on September 7th! Coffee and donuts will be served!

You Are Invited to our 1st Fireside Chat of 2011 on Thursday, February 10th

Please join us at Pinnacle Financial Concepts, for our first Fireside Chat of 2011. This is a great opportunity to join us in a very relaxed atmosphere to ask questions, and get prepared for filing your tax return. On Thursday, February 10, from 7:30 to 9:00 a.m. our topic will be “There’s No Such Thing as a Stupid Investment Question” with a bonus (apologies to David Letterman) of “The Top 10 Things to Think About During Tax Season”. We’ll have a basic overview of investment definitions and things to know about investments to spur a discussion on the topic.

Please call 260-9800 x2 to reserve your spot at this chat. There is no charge, but we will limit the number of available seats and schedule an overflow date if needed.   Free coffee and donuts will be served and, as always, this is purely educational, no selling!!

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